Most of the time we thought we can be heard clearly once we shout the things we want to say. We also use screaming to scare our children out so they will listen and follow us. But sometimes we didn’t realize that we are overusing it to the point that their ears are already immune and no matter how loud we yell they will no longer listen to us. How can we effectively discipline our children and eliminate yelling upon doing so? Here are some ways:
Get out of the fight mode.
We are not our children’s enemy, the main purpose why we sometimes scold our children is to make them realize that they did something wrong, and that should not be tolerated. If we scream right away, chances are they will be scared and will be missing out the point why they have been confronted in the first place. The worst thing that could happen is that they would adapt that kind of manner. Always make a conscious effort of stepping out of the battle ring with your child.
Let the emotions subside.
Undesirable words that may come out of our mouths could hurt their feelings, it may stir up an unwanted emotion that might provoke them to do something that we wouldn’t want them to–to talk back to us. If you already figured there might be an unlikely confrontation to arise, hold it, breathe and calm down. Approach them when they are ready to have a serious and proper talk.
Treat them like adults.
We can easily intimidate our children to the point that they will not open themselves up to us. They will just keep their real feelings, which is not a good indication. It may affect their personalities and their lives as a whole significantly. There is a good thing in “stepping down” to their level, meaning attempting to have an understanding just like them, trying look things in their perspective. On the other hand, we should be able to explain in a mature manner how we took things and how different our ways are from them. By doing so, we are likely to bridge the gap between us, parents, and our children.
The key thing to be successful in dealing with our children’s mistakes without yelling is patience. We have to have tons of it or at least develop it during our parenting.
We also have to put into consideration the vulnerability of our children. There are children who are less sensitive than others; there are some who can take things maturely. There are also children who’ll make a constant effort to make it up for what they did wrong.
Yelling at our kids will not resolve anything, we are only pushing them away as we do it. Proper communication is still the most powerful tool to make our children hear the genuine messages that we would want them to learn.