Ask a new stay-at-home mum about what concerns she may have, and one of her possible answers could be how to befriend other mums. Gone are the days when she could just chat with fellow mums in the office during lunch break, and bond with them while going about their tasks at work.
But why make new mum friends in the first place? While you for sure have your own girlfriends from college, from work, or even from your hometown, most likely you do not get to see them as much as you would like to. And even if you could hang out with them, you may be pursuing different interests in life that some of the matters you would want to discuss or to consult them with them could be considered off-topic on your girls’ night out.
When you have a mum-friend though, most likely everything about parenting would be fair game for a discussion. Besides, connecting with someone in the neighborhood or in the community could be beneficial especially when it comes to having a dose of regular adult social interaction.
So back to the question, how can one befriend other mums?
- Forget being approachable, be the one to do the approaching. If you see someone in your child’s pre-school activity that you think you would click with, try to strike-up a conversation and introduce yourself. Your potential friend may be pre-occupied with going through her mental list of things-to-do so you better make the first move.
- Find a common ground. While you are chatting with your potential mum-friend, try to find out if you have a common ground.. Are you going to the same church? Same gym? Do you go to the same supermarket? Knowing this plus gauging further if a friendship could blossom will guide you if you will want to take things a notch higher.
- Exchange Contacts. If you think it is worth the try, then try exchanging contact information. If it is too awkward to ask her if you can be friends on FB, or get her phone number, the best thing to ask are questions that could tell you where you could see her next.
- Set a play date. If you are convinced that you and your potential friend could be good ‘mummy friends’ then invite them over for a play date. Could be in the park after school, or in your house. Time it when your kid will be least cranky so you could have more time to have an adult conversation.
- Keep in touch. In any friendship, keeping touch is vital. You really need to invest time. So if a bi-monthly play date would be great to follow up on your morning chitchat after the pre-school drop off then so be it. It takes effort.
Should these things not work for you and the fellow mum you are eyeing to be your friend, then do not fret. There are a lot of mums out there who may just need a little nudging, or who knows, just waiting for the right time to approach you. Just be open to it.